Friends vs. Boo

Honestly.. I don't know who I would choose if it came down to a friend vs a boo. I think I have to look outside of the titles of boo and friend, and examine them both as persons. I have to see who is a better person in general, and who has more faults than the other. I have to examine who is more truthful and who has my best interest at heart. I never understood why girls sometimes avoid the advice that friends from over 10 years give them, and listen to a boy who they knew for less than a month. It is wierd when a friend change up on you when they get a little love in your life, and when their heart get broken, they come back running to you for help. Some people say that they would trust a boo over a friend due to jealousy and envy from that friend. But if they are envious and jealous towards you, they are not truly your friend. If a bestfriend that I knew told me that he saw my girlfriend of a month, kissing another boy, I would leave that girl in a heartbeat, with no explanation. The reason is because friends come before a girlfriend, especially when it is so early in the relationship. If it was later on in the relationship, like five months down the line, I would probably have a hard time choosin sides... What would you do?

Go hard

Today TFC (Teens For Christ) performed for the inauguration of the Rhode Island church. We rapped and showed people what we can do. After performing, I realized that I have no reason not to go hard for Christ. He is my refuge, my strength, and my strong tower. He has been there when everyone else has forsaken me. Nobody else on this earth can do or has done anything close to what he has done for me. I have caught myself slacking, and took a reality check, and realized that I sometimes make people more important to me than my relationship with God. I sometimes compromise boundaries in being a Christian and being a person out there in the world. I have realized that I have been half stepping, and have let people influenced me to the point, where I know I am changing. I am no longer ashamed of my relationship with God. He means more to me than life itself. Life is too short for me to be taking my relationship with God for granted. Here I am...

Bad boyz

Today the squad and I pressed some boy who was going around breaking into lockers and what not. He was on the verge of crying when we pressed him, and started yelling at him. He asked us to please not hurt him, and that he didn't do anything wrong, "he just looked in the locker". After seeing this I realized that too many boys just want to be down knowing that they don't really want be down. They just want to be seen as cool or popping, and not as a punk who gets no respect. They are scared of rejection, and they are scared to be different. They are scared of the scrutiny or emotional distress that they might endure from their peers. I know I am not perfect but I don't like to FOLLOW, but instead I like to set trends. There are many things that my friends do that I don't do, and I really don't care if they judge me. If they didn't accept me, they wouldn't be my friend in the first place. I don't compromise my morals to satisfy the needs of others. Whoa! that sounds like a quote.lol and remember that I came up with it first. My religion and my family morals play a major role in setting me apart from others. True friends will never reject you but accept you or adjust to your preferences. Why is acceptance needed to feel good in life? Why are people fear rejection from people that are suppose to be their friends? What is so wrong with being different? Smh.. idk

Mother

Lately my mother been on me way too much for no reason. She has been trying to put me on punishment for things that I haven't even done. First of all she got mad at me for standing outside during church (btw it was over) and my brother craig was with me, but she only try come at my head. That plan didn't work becuase Craig was there, so I was off the hook. But then he lost his medicine for his eyes so she took away my laptop. I was very confused, because last time I check, I am not responsible for Craig's medicine. I let her rock because it makes no sense arguing with her. Then she asked me if I got my report card, and I told her they didn't give it out, so she start yelling at me and calling me a liar... smh, and then when I asked her why she treatin me like this, she says "If you nuh like it, you know what you can do". She basically threatened me to move out, for no apparent reason. I don't know what is going on, we don't even talk anymore really, if I don't say goodmorning she won't say it, and if I don't say bye she wont say it. The only things she do is cook, and iron clothes, but we have no communication. Not to put her on blast, but this is crazy. I don't look foward to coming home anymore, because being in this house just brings down my mood. I don't feel the love.. what should I do?

Love life

I can honestly say I don't know where my love life is headed. Lately, everytime I get close to a girl, they change up on me. First they pull me in, then when they realize that I am in, they back out. On other occassions, I can have alot of options, but there is something wrong with all of them. Either they still have feelings for an ex, they scared of dating me, they all come at the smae time, or etc. And when I decide that I narrowed it down to the right one, they bail out on meh. I don't know why my love life is affecting me so much, I use to be just a careless dude. I think that when I try to make things happen, love becomes complicated, but when I didn't care, love took place. I can't even control the effect that my love life has over me, I don't understand why it has become a major piece of my life. I just like to be in control of things nowadays, so if I just let it happen, it won't feel right. I am in a hole and I don't know how to get out. Love... smh

Family part 2

I think there is too much pressure on me from my family to do good in school. I understand that I am going to be the first one to graduate, and I am going to help them have a better life, but I think sometimes they don't let me be a kid. They knock me hard when I drop a little bit in school, but when I do good all I get is a good job. They always threatening me to do good in school, and on my back, which is not fair because they made some mistakes, and I want to learn from my own mistakes. They don't trust that I am mature enough to keep myself in check. Sometimes I don't even get good grades because I want to succeed, it is just to keep them off my back. My mom sometimes brag about me infront of her friends, but behind close doors I am always a target of her anger. I know it sounds like I'm dogging her, but it is just how I feel, and I always keep it real on this blog. She sometimes take out her anger on me, because I am the only one in the house that is not willing to let her have her moment, and instead get mad back. Im trying to change, but I don't think my family situation is fair. I am going to need some independence, because if I don't get it now, when I go college I'm going to start slacking.

1000!

I finally reached 1000! yay!!!!! I want to say thank you for all those people who read my blog, those you commented, and those who just went on it just so they can refresh the page 86 times (innie) lol. I want to shout out a couple of people like Tati, Camilla, Anna, Leticia, Coreece and my son Gio. Thank you guys for reading the blogs that you liked and even reading the ones that you didn't like. 1000 views in three months is crazy, and it wouldn't be possible without you guys. It is not only these guys taht kept my blog poppin, it was other people but the names is just not coming to my name right now. Love you guys. WE R SO MAJOR!