Dark Spot

Have you ever had the dark spot that you cannot just cover in your life. It is not alway visible to your friends but you know its there. It holds you back from truly doing what you want to do, which may include loving yourself, loving others, or letting yourself be loved. This dark spot hurts, it causes pain that cannot be covered by the fake smiles that you put on when people ask how you doing. Or when you try laugh at a corney joke, trying to get your mind away from the pain. You try everything to get rid of this pain. You try let people have their way with you, you join certain groups, so that you feel accepted. You try drinking and smoking, so that when you high or drunk, you don't think about your problems. But when you finish, you realize that you feel way worser than before. You don't know what to do anymore. You cant go to your parents, because they are just going to judge you, and put you into a category. You can't even go to your closest friends, because they will look at you wierd. Even if they don't act wierd, its hard talking to them knowing that people keep changing up nowadays. Every minute they stop talking about you, and you hear from your enemies that your bestfriends are behind your back taking and laughing at you. You don't want to burden anybody with your problems, because your pride is burning inside of you. What to do to cover this dark spot. Nothing seems to work. The devil puts thoughts in your head that will cause to do things , but you know it will hurt you in the long run. I have felt this dark spot before but the solution is easy.. Trust God