Is your past affecing your future or is it going to be your future"

This topic came from a great friend name Tati. Many times in life we suffer hurt from past lovers, and we just cant get over it. We can't let others love us because we are scared that if we give our all into the relationship, we may be hurt like we were a couple of months ago. We don't love the same way that we did a couple of months ago, because that way led us to be alone and depressed. We try to stay two steps ahead of our current lover so that we will never fall into the same trap twice. We don't want our past to be our future, so we never truly put our all into a relationship, because we know that pain can not happen effectively if we don't put our all into a relationship. This topic goes way past just love between ex and present lovers, it is way deeper. How about those girls who can't love a boy because they were taken advantage of by a father or step father. They were raped and molested, so now any guy that comes in their life, they fan off, because they don't trust men. They put themselves in a hole because they don't want to be open, because the last time they were open, some guy that they trusted to protect them, took advantage. They also don't trust women, because her mother never believed her, and let love get in the way of her trusting her daughter. Why does pain seem to resurface as soon as you find somebody who is willing to take away the pain? Why won't you let him in? I love this topic